14 years and going strong.....

Happy Wednesday! I hope you are having a great week. Today is a special day in my life. On this day 14 years ago, I became a Mrs. So instead of my normal recipe club day post I am going to share 14 things that I have learned as a wife.
However, I do hope you join my co-host Johannah and Jenna for Recipe Club Day and tomorrow I will be sharing my yummy chocolate chip banana nut bread recipe...YUM!

I can remember this day 14 years ago like it was yesterday. I could not wait to marry Ben. He was truly my best friend. He understood me, he understood my craziness, moodiness, and sometime crankiness and somehow he loved me through it.

But let's not forget that I love him through all his hotheadedness, grumpiness, and grouchiness. But most important I love him for his Kindness. Ben really tries to act tough but in reality, when it comes to the 3 members of his family, he is downright mush.

Today, I am going to share 14 things that I have learned about being a Mrs. in the 14 years Ben and I have been married....

1. Never go to Bed Angry.

I mean you are not going to sleep anyway, so just get it out there. This one took me a while to figure out.

2. Communicate.

Sometimes I really wish I had the ability to read Ben's mind or vice verse because I am known to get a little emotional and words fail me. So if Ben could just read my mind it would be so much easier. But he can't so I have to tell him what I need help with, what's going on at the kids school's, what he did that made me angry ;).

3. Think Before you Speak.

There have been MANY of times that I or Ben have had to walk away from a conversation before we continued to speak to one another because if we had not we would have said something we really regretted. and friends, words HURT.

4. Go on Dates.

It is so important to Ben and me to still "date". We make it a point to go out to eat, go to concerts, catch a movie...heck we even have "deck date nights"

My point is that we make an effort to have alone time.

5. Be Intimate.

I don't think I need to explain this one.

6. Support Each Other.

Ben and I try to be each other's biggest cheerleaders. If one of us is having a rough day, then the other steps up to the plate to help the other one out. He knows when the kids have kicked my butt that day and Mama needs a "minute" so he makes sure they are showered and homework is complete.

or if Ben had a crappy day at work...I try to rein the kids away from him for a few minutes while he "catches his breath" because let me tell you they are excited to see their dad when he walks in the door. Ben doesn't understand why I blog, have an Etsy Shop, serve on 2 PTO boards but he SUPPORTS it, he cheers me on. He helps me when he can....like picking up my vinyl.

7. Back Each Other Up.

I haven't always been great at "backing Ben up" Ben beats to his own drum and will not do something just because it's what other people are doing or it's the "popular" thing to do. I, on the other hand, want to fit it, go with the flow...so I wouldn't always speak up to support him when we got in awkward situations and I really do regret that to this day.

Now that we have 2 "preteens" this is SO important for us. because we all know they will start "playing the mom and dad" card here soon. We have to be on the same page when this starts. Like if Dad says NO, they can't sneak and ask me to try and get a YES.

8. Solo Time.

We all know how much Ben enjoys his golf game. I support it, I understand it, I praise him for it. Before Ian played with him, I spent many of Saturday and Sundays home with the kids while he played. I didn't resent him for it. He worked 50 hours that week and needed some downtime. He earned it, he deserved.

But he also understood that I had been home all week with 2 little kids that demanded all of my attention, so going out with the girls, going to get a mani/pedi, or even going to the grocery store alone was what I needed to "reenergize"

We knew and understood that we each needed solo time. Heck, we still need it today! and still, support each other.

9. Show Each Other Love.

No, I'm not talking about flowers, candies, or other material things... I'm talking about sending each other a quick text that says "Hey, I love you" or "thinking about you", make their cup of coffee in the morning because they are running late, leave a note in their planner, leave a note on their desk or in their car.....little things that will BRIGHTEN their day and show you care!

10. Forgive Each Other.

We all make mistakes. Don't hold grudges because they will eat you alive. If there was something that Ben did or said that I didn't like, it upset me or hurt my feelings. I tell him. I use to not as a new wife, I didn't want to fight about it or upset him. I'm not so quiet anymore.

11. Say I'm Sorry.

If you did or said something wrong, say you are sorry and mean it. Again, we all make mistakes, but owning up to them and saying you are sorry and forgive the other one can truly make all the difference in the world. Don't bottle it all up. I have come to say I am sorry a lot. but so has Ben.

12. We are a Team.

Ben and I are one, we are a package deal. You get both of us. I have found lately that we have to be a team for the kids. We have to be on the same page. We have to show them that we work together every day to make our marriage work and our family work. We have to put in 100% on both of our parts.

13. Set an Example.

The way Ben and I treat each other and our kids are setting an example for how our children will treat their peers now and later how they will treat their spouse. I want to have the kind of marriage that encourages my children to want to get married. I come from divorced parents and it wasn't easy. Ben and I treat each other with respect and treat each other kindly in hopes that it is sitting an example for Ian and Ella.

14. PRAY.

I pray a lot for my marriage. I pray for guidance to be a better wife, to be what my Ben needs me to be at that moment. I pray for God to strengthen our marriage. I pray for Ben to be the husband and father that the kids and I need him to be. I pray to keep Ben safe every day. I PRAY a lot for Ben and my kids. I PRAY a lot for God to direct me to show Ben and the kids His love through me.

Marriage is HARD work and it is something that we work on DAILY.

Are we perfect? Heck, No

Do we have a perfect marriage? Oh my goodness, NO

Do we fight? YES

Do we make up? Always

Do we love each other fiercely? You better believe it

What marriage tips do you have? I would love to hear them!! Comment below!

I thought it would be fun to share 14 pictures of Ben and me when we were just dating! I hadn't become a "Mrs." yet, nor have I became a mother.

Get ready, we were babies....